I want to say first and foremost that this diet thing is not a New Years Resolution. I don't believe in New Years Resolutions because I have never seen anyone really succeed on them. I have tried that whole lets go on a diet in the new year but by Martin Luther King Day we were out living it up at the Super Chinese Buffet.
I guess in a way my journey is a resolution to change myself though. Not just to be skinny but to live a long and healthy life for my family, for my friends and obviously for me.
I guess in a way I have to admit this... I dont know how to say it in a way that wont make me sound completely like a worthless person but I am just going to go for it.... As much as I wanted to lose weight for me, my biggest reason that I did the surgery (at the time) was to look good with my husband. (see how far that got me), I'm a hundred pounds lighter and hes God knows where doing God knows what. I guess that goes to show that my issues about us looking good together was in my head and really were not issues to him.... we can be our own worst enemies when it comes to self-confidence. As humans we make things seem different then what reality is. We tell ourselves things that aren't necessarily true. As a fat person I had accepted that I was fat but as a married fat person who had a semi-athletic husband I could not accept that he wanted me for me. I didn't see the fact that he had already married me, I knew that he would leave me for a skinnier person.... so I had surgery.
Saying that I do not in any way regret having the operation because without it I would not be in the shape that I am in. A year ago I was just trying to breath with every step I took, today I went to the gym and spent almost an hour on a treadmill at a moderate/fast pace.... a year ago, I could have maybe gone 10 minutes at a slow pace. My life is so much better. I am happier not only with how I look but who I am on the inside. I am strong and worth something and I know that now.
Defined a resolution is : a resolve or determination. That's what I am doing. I am resolving or in other words solving the problem I have with being overweight and I am determined to change it.
A dear friend of mine probably my current best friend told me today that I had all the opportunities in the world to do this and that it was really all in my court. "Its not anybody's fault why you are the way you are and its not anybody's but your own problem to get it off". She was explaining to me that I am young and still have a huge life to lead and I could lead it as a fat person or I could spend the time and effort to make myself who I want to be.
I am going through the same thing and reading your blog really inspires me. thanks missy!
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