I want to first share a Bible Story. I am going to explain it in reference to my life after but reading it may help you understand it.
It comes from the Second Book of Samuel Chapter 14.
Absalom Returns to Jerusalem
1 Joab son of Zeruiah knew that the king’s heart longed for Absalom. 2 So Joab sent someone to Tekoa and had a wise woman brought from there. He said to her, “Pretend you are in mourning. Dress in mourning clothes, and don’t use any cosmetic lotions. Act like a woman who has spent many days grieving for the dead. 3 Then go to the king and speak these words to him.” And Joab put the words in her mouth. 4 When the woman from Tekoa went[a] to the king, she fell with her face to the ground to pay him honor, and she said, “Help me, Your Majesty!”
5 The king asked her, “What is troubling you?”
She said, “I am a widow; my husband is dead. 6 I your servant had two sons. They got into a fight with each other in the field, and no one was there to separate them. One struck the other and killed him. 7 Now the whole clan has risen up against your servant; they say, ‘Hand over the one who struck his brother down, so that we may put him to death for the life of his brother whom he killed; then we will get rid of the heir as well.’ They would put out the only burning coal I have left, leaving my husband neither name nor descendant on the face of the earth.”
8 The king said to the woman, “Go home, and I will issue an order in your behalf.”
9 But the woman from Tekoa said to him, “Let my lord the king pardon me and my family, and let the king and his throne be without guilt.”
10 The king replied, “If anyone says anything to you, bring them to me, and they will not bother you again.”
11 She said, “Then let the king invoke the LORD his God to prevent the avenger of blood from adding to the destruction, so that my son will not be destroyed.”
“As surely as the LORD lives,” he said, “not one hair of your son’s head will fall to the ground.”
12 Then the woman said, “Let your servant speak a word to my lord the king.”
“Speak,” he replied.
13 The woman said, “Why then have you devised a thing like this against the people of God? When the king says this, does he not convict himself, for the king has not brought back his banished son? 14 Like water spilled on the ground, which cannot be recovered, so we must die. But that is not what God desires; rather, he devises ways so that a banished person does not remain banished from him.
15 “And now I have come to say this to my lord the king because the people have made me afraid. Your servant thought, ‘I will speak to the king; perhaps he will grant his servant’s request. 16 Perhaps the king will agree to deliver his servant from the hand of the man who is trying to cut off both me and my son from God’s inheritance.’
17 “And now your servant says, ‘May the word of my lord the king secure my inheritance, for my lord the king is like an angel of God in discerning good and evil. May the LORD your God be with you.’”
18 Then the king said to the woman, “Don’t keep from me the answer to what I am going to ask you.”
“Let my lord the king speak,” the woman said.
19 The king asked, “Isn’t the hand of Joab with you in all this?”
The woman answered, “As surely as you live, my lord the king, no one can turn to the right or to the left from anything my lord the king says. Yes, it was your servant Joab who instructed me to do this and who put all these words into the mouth of your servant. 20 Your servant Joab did this to change the present situation. My lord has wisdom like that of an angel of God—he knows everything that happens in the land.”
21 The king said to Joab, “Very well, I will do it. Go, bring back the young man Absalom.”
22 Joab fell with his face to the ground to pay him honor, and he blessed the king. Joab said, “Today your servant knows that he has found favor in your eyes, my lord the king, because the king has granted his servant’s request.”
23 Then Joab went to Geshur and brought Absalom back to Jerusalem. 24 But the king said, “He must go to his own house; he must not see my face.” So Absalom went to his own house and did not see the face of the king.
25 In all Israel there was not a man so highly praised for his handsome appearance as Absalom. From the top of his head to the sole of his foot there was no blemish in him. 26 Whenever he cut the hair of his head—he used to cut his hair once a year because it became too heavy for him—he would weigh it, and its weight was two hundred shekels[b] by the royal standard.
27 Three sons and a daughter were born to Absalom. His daughter’s name was Tamar, and she became a beautiful woman.
28 Absalom lived two years in Jerusalem without seeing the king’s face. 29 Then Absalom sent for Joab in order to send him to the king, but Joab refused to come to him. So he sent a second time, but he refused to come. 30 Then he said to his servants, “Look, Joab’s field is next to mine, and he has barley there. Go and set it on fire.” So Absalom’s servants set the field on fire.
31 Then Joab did go to Absalom’s house, and he said to him, “Why have your servants set my field on fire?”
32 Absalom said to Joab, “Look, I sent word to you and said, ‘Come here so I can send you to the king to ask, “Why have I come from Geshur? It would be better for me if I were still there!”’ Now then, I want to see the king’s face, and if I am guilty of anything, let him put me to death.”
33 So Joab went to the king and told him this. Then the king summoned Absalom, and he came in and bowed down with his face to the ground before the king. And the king kissed Absalom.
I know, this may have been long and tedious but this story, like so many other stories of the Bible I am discovering really hit home for me today. Like so many others I have struggled with my relationship with the Lord. I have doubted, questioned and in a lot of ways truly rejected the ideas of the Church and not only the Church but of the Lord. I always felt like the Church was a hypocritical place, a place where people came on Sunday morning and acted better then everyone else while Saturday night they sitting at the bar stool right next to me. I have realized... that although this is true in some situations... this is not the case for the majority of Christian believers.
As most of you know, I grew up in Maine, probably one of the non-Christian places on earth. We all claimed to believe but going to Church pretty much made us social outcasts. Church was not a place where most people went on Sunday morning and in fact, Church was a place that really didnt ring a bell of comfort to most of us.
Moving to North Carolina for the first time was probably when I was first introduced to a church family. It was then that I met my first roommate Elizabeth Law. I can look back now and say that Elizabeth was probably the best roommate I could have asked for. She was kind and gental and loving. She was a good Christian. I remember she took me to her Church and invited me in with open arms and at that point I wanted to be part of something I knew was so important to the south, I wanted to fit in, so I went to Church.
What I didn't realize is that I wasn't ready to meet the Lord as my savior. I went because I thought it was the thing to do, I didn't go because I wanted to. It took almost 10 years to meet the Lord on my own terms, or quite possibly, on his terms.
I'm not going to bore you with the details of how the Lord has impacted my life, if you want to know, jump back a few posts but I wanted to share the story of Absalom and Joab for a reason.
You see the story of Absalom is pretty simple, he did some bad things and those bad things causes a "rift" in his relationship with his father, the King. His father sent him away to essentially think about his behaviors. After two years of thought, Absalom sent for his father though Joab, when Joab ignored his requests, he eventually burned his barley field.... Joab asked him why he would do that and Absalom replied... to get your attention. Has God ever burned one of your barley fields?
I bring this story up because it reminds me of my relationship with the Lord. Probably a lot of you have had a time that you ignored the Lord, but eventually, you too will have a barley field that burns down. I know that I pushed and pushed and pushed until eventually my barely field has been burned.... The Lord got my attention.
I am not saying that bad things happen to us because the Lord makes it that way, but would it be possible that maybe bad things happen to wake us up to the peace we get serving the Lord?
I have to admit that I am not someone who doesn't sin. I sin on a daily basis and I know it. I also know that I am a child of God and that he will forgive my sins. I still get away from him in spirit, in fact, I have steered away recently with thoughts or doubt, but I want to be back on track. I want to be a child of God.
I know this blog is supposed to be about my diet but this space has opened up so much for me. I have a lot to heal and this space is helping me do that. I know airing my dirt may not be the perfect situation but I feel like for the most part, the people who read these are my true friends and truly want me to succeed, as I want all of you to. To me, writing these posts give me hope for a new day, a day when I can open my eyes and see peace in my life, that day is coming I know it. I hope that those of you sticking with me will keep sticking with me on these and be inspired by some if not all of the words I say. I am not a healer, I am just a girl going though a lot of stuff on the inside, this release is amazing and the gift of sharing with you trumps that bar none.
Diet Update - Amazing :) Stay Tuned for the updates of the doctor visit and how I am working daily to improve my health
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