The Impossible Truths... So many of you really dont know.

317. A number that represents everything. Its the beginning and the end of my journey as a fat person. 317 is a magic number in my life because it was at Three Hundred and Seventeen Pounds that I decided to change my life once and for all.

For those of you that are of a normal weight. Imagine walking around with 40 5lbs bags of sugar on your back, wouldn't be easy would it? Let me tell you... it was a pain in the ass literally, and back, and legs, and arms, and feet and any other part of my body. I hurt most days, I had trouble breathing just climbing the one flight of stairs I had to my apartment. Everything was a struggle. Things you wouldn't think about such as getting into booths at restaurants, getting into cars, riding on airplanes, buying clothes and you could forget about getting on a roller coaster, you would just be too big.

My life was going well outside of my weight but I knew that my weight was a huge issue that I was going to have to face, no one is healthy at that size. People don't like fat people. Its not anything bad its just a part of our society, and truthfully as a member of society I didn't like myself. I found myself not showering, throwing my hair back slick, wearing no makeup and big t-shirts to work. I was a teacher so I probably looked awful to the kids, but at that point in my life, I looked so bad I couldn't hide my weight so I stopped trying.

I remember the day it happened, the day that really changed my life. It was a hot summer day in North Carolina, one of those 100+ degree days. My husband at the time (Kris) wanted to go hiking. I remember when he said it I could feel knots in my stomach but because I knew he really wanted to go I got off my ass and surrendered. The drive to the trail was interesting, I kept wishing that we would get lost or that he would change his mind but alas he found it. I reluctantly got out of the car and began to walk. Within 50 feet of the trails beginning I had already fallen my face. I got back up and continued slowly but surly trying to hide the fact that the short walk was killing me from my athletic husband. I kept going, holding on to every breath I took. I probably walked 10 minutes until I began tearing up. Every bone in my body hurt, I literally could not breath and I honestly thought I would die out on this trail. Kris finally looked back at me and my puddle eyes and I broke down. I knew at that point the things I wanted to do I couldn't do and that my weight was the reason I couldn't enjoy things that I should be enjoying. We went home and I began my journey. 

I knew that I couldn't lose the amount of weight I needed to by myself so I started looking at options. At first it was Weight Watchers and Jenny Craig but I had done programs like that before and lost but gained the weight back and more. So I took a more drastic look. I went to a meeting about Weight Loss Surgery and decided that I wanted to make a life changing move.

After a lot of research I decided on Gastic Bypass Surgery which is where the doctor goes in and re-routs your insides to make your stomach smaller. Its kind of a scary thought but I knew that I wanted to make this change for good. I went into Surgery on January 11th, 2010. As of today, December 27th, 2010 I weigh 208lbs. That means I have lost 111lbs in about a year. 

I am making this blog because I still have a journey to go and as you know dieting is not easy, not even with the surgery. I had help getting back to a manageable state but I have still at least another 60lbs to go. I am starting a diet in the morning Tuesday December 28th, 2010 and staying on it until I get to where I need to be. I hope this blog will help with support because I sure do need it. I have a friend Renee who is on this with me and we are going to kick some butt... but we still need support! I am asking those who read this to take time to respond and give me encouragement. This is my life and I am taking control once and for all.